Get Psyched!

I'm feeling really good about the 20 weeks, it would be exciting if I made some really great progress. It's not a big deviation from what I normally do, but there are a few critical differences. I think multiple modalities of measurement will be important so I can feel like my work is paying off. It will also let me effectively tweak my diet and exercise. While I will enthusiastically strive for compliance, I'm not going to be a rigid psycho because a) I don't have the attention span b) it leaves no room for serendipity since I might stumble on a tweak that fits my lifestyle and works.

Daily challenges:

• drink water throughout the day, not just morning and night
  
• take all supps (I divide up the fish caps and tend to forget some)
• veg with every meal
• one full hour at the gym even if it means hamster cardio

Weekly challenges:

• 90% diet compliance
• REAL PLANNING. I tend to either run out of time for cooking or run out of food toward the end of the week. It's easy enough to plan out every meal and shop accordingly.
• Measure progress. Lack of progress is information, denial is void of usefulness.

Long term vision:

• I want to step off the plane in Hawaii with no regrets
• I'm looking forward to being a fashionista again
• I'm going to look good nekkid at the age of 39
• TKD: I can't grow taller, but I can be harder, faster, stronger, and better conditioned

Random thoughts:

• In the past few weeks I've enjoyed the freedom of being able to go to a restaurant and order whatever looks good, but I want the freedom to do whatever I want without any shame in my surrounding shell. Ultimately, I want the freedom that comes with health and vitality and maturity and this immediate moment is the easiest it's ever going to be to regain my health.
• I already spend the time and energy eating clean and going to the gym so I might as well look like it
• I make more progress when I'm running toward a goal rather than running away from something
• The problems with doing something half-assed is that you're still doing 50% of the work, it feels like you're doing 75% of the work, but you're seeing 0% positive results.
  

Countdown

I cannot WAIT for this week to be OVER. I'm usually really good about living out of two places at once while catsitting, but this time I cannot get my shit together and my workouts have been suffering and the dojang is closed Thursday and Friday for the big re-opening. I finally found my sports bra, but now I have no pants. I'll do HIIT on the parents' treadmill in the privacy of their house.

My calendar is off by one day, I thought my folks were coming home tomorrow afternoon, but it will be Saturday. This foils my plans to go fishing over the weekend which is actually ok. Camping with Japanese people generally involves huge amounts of starchy food and alcohol. Instead, I'll have this weekend to clean out the fridge, go grocery shopping, do some cooking, move back into my place, probably lug more logs and go for a good hike.

On the plus side, I've been sleeping really well. Howlie-Yowlie is extremely well behaved when other cats are around, but I know that will change as soon as we get back to the condo.

In other news, I met Jeff King! Neurological problems have been popping up in sled dogs and while a lot of mushers just quietly cull the pups, he is interested in finding out what's going on. We made a lab road trip to his kennel and helped a colleague take blood samples from like 40 puppies, parents, aunties and uncles. The puppy runs have giant hamster wheels in them and it's hilarious to watch the pups cram in and run.

Back on the Wagon

... or at least trotting behind at a good pace albeit with wheel marks and hoofprints down my back. Mostly I'm pleased I did not get starch cravings because I was worried I'd gone back to being dependent.
4:00 wake, go back to sleep
7:30? get up, feed cats, etc.
8:00 pineapple/lime/berry Metabolic Drive smoothie
12:00 big salad: romaine, pepper, flax oil, flax meal, balsamico, boiled beef
4:00 cashew, apple, chocolate chip cookies (oops)
6:00 50m of log-lugging
7:00 beef, broccoli, rice, LOTS of fresh strawberries

I was given command of the massive veg garden and told to eat as much of it as I could before the moose get it. I'm impressed with how fast ripe strawberries spoil and how long fresh broccoli lasts in the 'fridge. What have I been eating?? Some friends came over yesterday and I gave away EIGHT monster zucchini and there are still more lurking. I shall foist them upon colleagues along with ripe tomatoes. I undid my log-lugging yesterday by eating deep-fried zucchini blossoms in an effort to thwart their proliferation. I've never had them before and they're easy and really really good.

Fried Zucchini Blossoms
male zucchini flowers (the females have mini zukes attached, these get soggy)
flour
water
grated Romano cheese
oil for frying
Mix flour and water to make a thin batter. Dip blossoms to coat and fry in oil. When crispy and gorgeous, remove to paper towel and immediately sprinkle with Romano cheese. Eat as soon as they're cool enough to handle.

Make that SEVEN trees!

The aspen trees have been stricken with a weird blight for the past few years so they're in pretty bad shape. Three other really BIG and OLD trees were cut down along with the original four which were threatening to fall on the house. They were cut into manageable pieces (which were still about 50-60lb apiece) downhill, into the woods, amid the sticker-bushes.

My goal today was to get the heaviest logs out of the woods so my Dad won't put his back out when he returns. I have career and hobby ADD, but the one thing I have done consistently since college is pick up heavy things and put them back down again, usually without hurting myself.

Nope, took me like 2.5 hours to flip these 50-60lb logs end over end up the hill out of the woods (basically doing a full squat each time), lifting it into the wheelbarrow, pushing it to the woodpile and cleaning it to chest level to pile it on top. That means there are still four trees worth of more manageable logs left for Dad. I think it's genetic, he's been taking half days this summer and spends all afternoon in his battered baseball hat and workshirt mowing the lawn and pushing the wheelbarrow.

I'm tempted to lug one of the really appallingly huge pieces out of the woods just to make my mom freak. I'm just happy because I year ago this would've killed me.

This morning

... I weighed myself and had ballooned to 137.2 pounds. Then I tried to measure my bodyfat with the Omron and after scrolling through a never-ending intro screen it would only play video games. I was at the gym and I asked a friend if she could figure it out. After futzing with it for a bit she pointed to a shining bank of foot-to-hand electrical impedance machines with white-coated technicians in attendance and said "Why don't you just use one of those?" And then I woke up.

I'm very excited because this will be a weekend of Hard Labor to offset the usual week of Reading About Bird Spleens. The TKD school is moving to a spanky new building so I'm going to the rugrat infested Saturday morning class and then help out. Next, my parents had three trees cut down just before they went to out of town so I'm going to gather up the logs and pile them by the woodshed before they get back. It should add a few hours to my weekly activity and it beats doing HIIT!

Randomosity

Still here. I spent all morning doing genetics stuff, was practicing patterns to stay awake, but then when I found myself googling to find out the name of the bone in my wrist that sticks out on the pinky side I decided I was completely distracted and I should update here instead so I can have a snack and go to the gym....

1. I have been plotting and planning, refilling my supps (I heart iHerb and their shipping prices), and slacking, and hanging out with Viv.
   
2. You can buy empty gelatin capsules! This is exciting because I have an expensive tub of BCAA that taste like bitter bleeeeeeccchhh.
   
3. We went to the optometrist together and it turns out we have exactly the same eye prescription! How weird is that? Doc was totally baffled. Sisters in Myopia!
4. August Bear was finished in record time (before I went to field camp)
5. Have been eating regularly and mostly clean (cough cough), too many carbs, but I need to get them out of the house before September 1st.
6. Must see "Stardust". Very entertaining sci-fi/fantasy with a dark twisted side and cheeky sense of humor. I felt bad for Robert deNiro, but it was one of the most entertaining movies in a long time.
   
7. Also saw part of "Fracture" (yes, Viv is the opera singer who's onscreen for like 10 seconds) and a few episodes of Season 2 of the Muppet Show.
8. Tonight we'll watch "Hot Fuzz" because I made her watch "Shaun of the Dead" and now she's a Simon Pegg fan.
   

The Best Laid Scheme

I've planned it out for 20 weeks, but the last four get kind of hairy because xmas and new year's fall right on weeks 17 and 18. Diet isn't a problem, but the gym is going to be closed. If I get through that, then I have two weeks to do some crazy lo-carb no-carb shredding thing because I will look so freakin' awesome by then, right =)?

Diet:

• start off with 2 weeks of fibrous veggie/protein/fat because I CAN. I'm not restricting veggies by color or anything because radishes and cauliflower are fibrous and tasty. The main thing here is to stuff in as many veg as possible and get used to eating a variety.
  
  
• Then I'll take two weeks to ease out and move into a standard carb tapering kind of diet and see how that goes. The main thing will be to keep my calories up and not be too extremely restrictive with the carbs so in case I need to tweak I'll have somewhere to go. I'll probably play with carb and calorie cycling as well.
  
  
• I'll take a cheat day every two weeks, the point being to re-feed and remind myself of the different things I could be eating and get some ideas for healthy revisions. When there's a social event during the two weeks I'll cut it down to a half day.
  
  
• The main focus points will be to eat lots of veg, keep the calories up, and eat a variety of foods (no buying 12# sacks at the price club). Supps will stay the same.
  
  
• I'm going to lighten up and get some emergency meals to carry around. I think a commercial protein bar is better than a huge mochaccino and a bagel.
  

Exercise

• I'm going to do 5 week cycles: 4 weeks of lifting/hiit and four days of active rest where I'll sleep in, go to the gym and do anything but lifting/hiit for 45 min and go to TKD as usual. I'm hoping this will prevent overreaching and burnout and keep me hankering for the weights.
  
  
• There are bizillions of different programs out there and none will do me any good if I get bored and sick. The main thing is to wreck myself and be happy (maybe someday I'll develop the attention span to go through a 16 week program).
  
  
• Again, I think variety is key so I'll mix in a few super-heavy machine days, plyometrics, etc. On ice-storm or -40 days I will lift at home.
  
  
• On weeks when the gym is only open for a few days I'll prioritize weights over HIIT and go outside and hike or ski for the other days.

Goals:

• 1) be compliant and consistent 2) evaluate regularly 3) tweak as needed
  
• I'm not setting any weight/BF goals because then I start extrapolating, graphing and getting upset at my lack of progress. Maybe as a treat I can graph AFTER it's all done =)
  
• evaluation will be scale, tape, Omron, comparison jeans, monthly pix, compliance charts. Apparently the Omron reads high so I'm not going to freak when it says I'm 30%BF, it's just a number and I'm going to watch it go down.
• also - not be a social outcast. If people can travel and be compliant, I can figure out some way to not have to avoid gatherings.

Should it all aft gang agley brush it off and get back on the wagon. If I get sick I will rest and eat so I can get back in the gym sooner. Injury isn't a problem because I'm good at working around those.

And finally: NO DIET SODA! I mean, it's pointless, expensive, unhealthy and banning it will add focus to these 20 weeks. I think Stevia-sweetened cold green tea will be a nice substitute.

Back from the Precipice

Yesterday I woke up late because I had trouble getting to sleep the night before and there was no way I was going to the gym on 2 hours sleep. I was going to go in the evening, but a friend called and we went out to see "SiCKO" so I managed to replace both sparring class and a lifting session with three beers. Plus I had mexican food for lunch because my best friend Viv is in town. So we eventually wound up at a small club near campus and there was a band playing and I was watching all the happy drunk pudgy people dance and they looked happy. And it reminded me of being in my 20's when I was 12% bodyfat I decided that I need to be comfortable in my skin again. I just need to get it done.
1) I'm not special. I'm healthy and I have a normal metabolism and there is nothing physiological keeping me from getting rid of excess fat
2) I'm lucky. I'm already active, I have access to a decent gym and I belong to a great dojang. I have some friends who are new here and excited to get outdoors and I'm going with them.
3) I'm knowledgeable. I have tried it or read about it or heard about it. Plus I'm a biologist so I can not only find the abstracts on PubMed, I can get the actual article AND I can understand it.
4) I'm experienced. I know how to do the exercises, I know how to modify them, I can eat any ratio without too much problem, etc.
5) I am aware of my shortcomings. I have program/diet ADD and I was slacking the past few weeks because I was getting bored and unhappy. Another thing I do when I'm unhappy is I conjure up illness and injury which interfere quite a bit with the consistency. I need to see progress, but I'd been focusing solely on the presence of the spare tire. I ordered an Omron (mOron) so it will be a fun toy to play with since I've lost all confidence in my ability to accurately use my calipers.

There is a huge list of foods and exercises, etc. that I habitually avoid and I need to re-examine all of these. I think variety is more important that dogma. I was thinking about this because my mindset for the past few years has been "machines are stupid" BUT looking back, when I was really making great progress a few years ago I was only doing legs and abs because I'd totally blown my right rotator cuff. I maxed out the Barbie leg-press and was using the Icarus/Hammerstrength. I think part of the reason I was doing so well is that I was really working the legs. I don't think I do that under the bar because I'm so limited by my grip and the amount of weight I can put across my shoulders. Anyway - something to think about....

So back in the gym today lifting whatever the heck I wanted and really focusing on form. I took a lot of weight off at first, but I'm stronger than before I went on vacay, got sick, went to field camp. Maybe it's the 3 week re-feed! Cheating isn't all evil, for one thing I got to eat a far wider variety of foods than I have been eating and most of them I can convert to a healthy macro-friendly form.

Finally - I'm going to get it done this fall. I don't have any travel scheduled so I can map out 20 weeks to make some major progress. And then, my parents want me to go with them to Hawaii in January so if the desire to feel happy/pretty/comfortable again isn't enough positive motivation, the fear of being pushed out to sea as a beached beluga whale should be!

Home Again

I'm back! I survived my cold and my trip out into the wilderness. Turns out "field camp" makes it sound much more rustic than it really is. "Summer Cabin" would've been more appropriate. The cabin had a kitchen that took up nearly half the floor space and there was plenty of time in the afternoon to cook up elaborate dinners. The price-club sized buckets of candy didn't help either.

Here's the Beaver that we flew out on because we had to lug 500lb of corn for the duck traps.


Here's me trying to work. Clearly I have been slacking and have done massive damage to any progress I made this spring.


Here's how everyone spends the afternoons: lounging and reading and napping. When it's warm out apparently there is fishing and waterskiing to be done as well.


And here's my buddy Hal. Why do dogs always smile for the camera by pulling their ears down like that? It makes their noses look big.

bfast: pineapple berry Syntrax smoothie
lunch: 1/2 english muffin w/ cheddar....?
snack: GoLean, Metabolic Drive complete
TKD 1 hour
dinner: cabbage and turkey bacon stir fry, corn on the cob, no-sugar-added juice pop

Land of the Living

Still alive and mostly over the nastiest cold I've had in ages!! The fun thing is that I'm going out via float-plane to a field camp today and I was supposed to spend last week preparing, ha ha. I could barely get off the couch to refill my water bottle let alone sort and pack all the gear and equipment. AND I didn't have a chance to get a license and pike tackle.

So I'm off to collect white blood cells from wild ducks. They need to be processed quickly in a sterile environment so we figured we would forgo sterility for speediness. It's supposed to be a pretty cushy field camp, but they still don't have a biological containment hood. My other issue is that I cannot get blood out of a duck and they flap and kick and bite (can you blame them?)

My prediction is that if H5N1 does actually make it over here from Europe/Asia and jump from bird to human, it'll be a biologist that starts the whole global pandemic =). Ah well, it will be a nice change from the lab, a wee adventure to make me feel like a "real" biologist. Wish me luck!

Insomniac: I can't sleep!

probably from being sedentary for two days now. On the plus side, I worked obsessively for 8 hours and finished a big part of a nagging project. It is a frilly doll dress which I made just to be sure I grow up to be an old spinster who'll die alone surrounded by cats. Just kidding! I was bamboozled into heading up a charity project where we buy dolls and make two outfits for them so the group I support can sell them at craft fairs.

I hate dolls, if they weren't creepy enough, these are the lifelike newborn dolls. Their main flaw is that newborn eyes are dark, but these have pale blue adult eyes which gives them a distinctly "Village of the Damned" appeal. I picked an African-American baby, but she still creeps me the hell out so she's been in a bag under the coffee table for the past 5 months.

In the morning I ate some more beef/rice/peas and then at 3:30 I ordered a pizza. Most of it is individually wrapped in the freezer. Then I ate a few grapes.

Ad Delirium

I guess I'm better today, yesterday I wasn't energetic enough to check my email more than twice. Since I'm trapped at home I figure I can read lots of scientific journal articles only to find I have barely enough physical and mental capacity to lie on the couch and watch "Dog the Bounty Hunter".

Unfortunately, I wasn't sleepy so worked on a bear until my hands hurt, watched "Serenity" and "Buena Vista Social Club", finished Black Order which I bought to read on the plane because it looked lurid, and watched lots of cable. So much cable....
"How Clean is Your House?": ha! now I don't feel bad when I fall behind in the vacuuming
"TapOut": if you got rid of the annoying boys in their Halloween costumes you'd have a great 30 min show profiling up and coming MMA fighters
"Dog the Bounty Hunter": as formulaic and soothing as "Mr. Rogers"... with lots of swearing and methamphetamine
"Dog the Bounty Hunter" vs. "What Not to Wear": wouldn't that be great?? Will Stacey get Beth out of her 80's garb and into a decent bra or will Beth snap her over one knee? Will Dog make Clinton cry? Can Nick talk Leland out of the mohawk-ponytail or will he get maced?

... or maybe someone's delirious. Oh well. Yesterday I drank a gallon of water along with a lot of coffee and diet pepsi. I ate one bona fide meal of beef/rice/peas which I couldn't smell or taste. I grazed on GoLean, mini nutter-butters, chex mix.

Ugh! Sick again!

#$%@#!!! Another massive upper respiratory ick. I have been sick TWICE this summer which is more times than I have been in years (not counting the mystery fatigue malaise). I can't hear or breathe or taste. Anway - I'm going to take a load of decongestants tonight and then lie around tomorrow staying hydrated and feeling sorry for self.

On the plus side, Squawkie-Talkie the anti-sleep cat is still at the parents' where she was being cat-sat with the cousins. They were all tiny terrors while we were gone. One cat opened the door to the storage and hid from the cat-sitter, one cat hid behind a clock, my cat refused her meds all weekend, then escaped into the wilderness and didn't return until 11PM.

4:20 wake
6:00 wake
8:00 egg, white crab, tomatoes, onions, peas
12:00 teriyaki beef, wh rice, soup, 1.5 eggrolls (I was easily tempted away from my lunch of beef/gr bean stirfry to a noodle house off campus)
3:30 I was sniffling and spinning around in a lab chair and my advisor asked me if I had a cold so I went home
4:00 small handful GoLean Crunch, coffee
6:30 1/2 tuna steak, broccoli, wh rice, natto
8:00 sour gummi bears
Today was supposed to be a low-carb day, but oh well.

Weekend Update

I'm back, a good time was had by all.
The highlight was Saturday night's game where the Red Sox broke their 9 game losing streak to the Mariners. Matsuzaka was pitching and he is indeed a monster. I thought his whole schtick was that he had a weird wind-up, but he threw 95mph for like 7 innings! The Sox were leading by one run into the 9th with Pappellbon closing. The first two guys went down swinging, then he walked the next two on full counts. Then just before you thought they would once again 'snatch defeat from the jaws of victory' someone popped it up to the catcher. My theory is that my bad Red Sox karma didn't recognize me in the Mariners hat that my mom bought me so I wouldn't get all my skin burned off (left my hat at home). I'm such a good fan that I did not watch them win the World Series; every time I turned on the TV things would start to go awry.

I think Ichiro must singlehandedly bring in millions of Japanese dollars a week, I was astounded by how popular he is. I was in Boston when Nomar was there, but that was nothing compared to Ichiro. Nearly all the pictures in the program were of him (including cover), all but one of the fan-signs in the audience were for him. Every time he did his sleeve-tug flashbulbs would flicker all over the stadium, it was crazy.

Anyway - ate lots, walked lots, slept lots! I actually got hungry and looked forward to my meals. I should work to keep my calories up, but the catch is I'll have to eat my cooking =(. I cook very well, but often the botheration outweighs the fun of eating.

Man-eating Mutants and Miss July

Just barely finished July-Bear an hour before the end of the month whilst watching my last Netflix of July, "The Host". She is rockin' an orange-lace edge sundress with rainbow scarf and tights.

The two Korean sci-fi/horror I've seen were both really well done, but had odd little bursts of weirdly sad/sentimental moments and incongruous slapstick. The other one was "Save the Green Planet" which starts as a really silly sci-fi flick and transmogrifies into a ferocious psycho-horror. I found it disturbing.
p.s. going to be in Seattle for the weekend!

5:00 wake, Metabolic Drive Complete
6:30 heavy bag 23min
8:00 crab omelet
12:00 caesar salad w/ leftover salmon crumbled into it
1:30-3:20 huge nap
3:30 haircut
7:00 beef patty, small bag pb ritz, cheezits
I guess my eating sucked, I was really tired all day despite sleeping well.